Don't Rain on My Parade, Shoo Shoo!

As you are going through the day feeling extremely happy for no reasons, you project your happiness through hyperactivities and your energies could simply be felt across the screen. Those who know you well understand that it’s simply one of those moments when you are elated. Those who don’t know will wonder, “Are you on drugs?” I got that quite often, especially recently. I have been hyper happy for no reason. But not all the time, when I slide down to the valley of the darkness, it turns really ugly. But while I am high and mighty and being the titaniumish self me, I can be quite annoying to some. I wonder why happiness is annoying to some, shouldn’t joy be contagious? Apparently not to all.

When I was asked as such and being treated differently, I did question myself. Was I doing something wrong? Were my extreme joyous acts offensive? Was I abnormal? How can happiness be wrong? How can showing you are excited about something deserves to be poured with sarcasms, cynicisms and unnecessary teases. Though I didn’t portray my confusion and dislikes towards such comments, deep inside I was really not comfortable with them. But to “maintain peace” and to “please people”, I tone myself down, or I simply ignored what they said and changed the topic.

But as I move on further in life, I realize, I don’t think I have done anything wrong by being happy and I definitely think I don’t deserve such rain to be poured in my parade. Now I totally understand the song by Barbra Streisand – Don’t Rain On My Parade. It’s my life parade after all, if someone shows any kind of rain to it and you don’t like it, feel free to bring your parade elsewhere. Unless you really need some shower, then go stick with them for quite sometimes.

As cliché as it sounds that life is short, life is actually very unpredictable. Don’t waste another breath being in the company of people who keep raining on your parade. Don’t waste another second accommodating people who don’t accommodate you in their lives. Move on. Trust me, eventually, you will find people who will march together with you in the same parade. You may play the drum, they may play the trumpet. I’m not saying those rainy people are bad. They are just different. Maybe to them, you have been raining on their parade. So, move on, march into your own band. Each of us simply has different melodies anyway.

What I learn for sure is that if someone questions your overflowing state of happiness, never doubt yourself. As it’s always better to be happy and elevate others with it than to be doubtful and bring others down with you. You will find eventually where you really belong but you must first create the space for it by getting rid those that don’t fit.

"Don't tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life's candy and the sun's
A ball of butter.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade.
Don't tell me not to fly--
I've simply got to.
If someone takes a spill,
It's me and not you.
Who told you you're allowed
To rain on my parade!"

- Don't Rain On My Parade by Barbra Streisand

Air Bed & Breakfast

In short, it's called Airbnb. It's a website - a community marketplace - founded by Brian Chesky (CEO, Co-Founder) and Joe Gebbia (Chief Product Officer, Co-Founder). Both of them used to study in the same university and on the day of the graduation, Joe said Brian that one day they will start a company together and guessed what. It became reality.

It all started with Brian Chesky who was having problem looking for a a place to stay when he was in San Francisco for a conference. All the hotel rooms was fully booked and he had to pay a lot for the rental during those period due to the conference. That's when an idea struck, they decided to create a temporary bed and breakfast as they were pulling their air beds from the closet to sleep on. Eureka! That's how the concept of airbnb apartments were created.

Airbnb.com was launched but nobody noticed them until their 4th launch in August 2008. They never gave up. Their idea is to take people online and bring them together offline. Currently they have 35,000 properties in 8,000 cities in 165 countries. From the site that nobody noticed, to a community where people welcome each other into their home, with a price of course. But what better way to travel and learn one's culture if not through witnessing directly how one lives? I am really glad to stumble upon this website and hope one day when I travel elsewhere on my own again, I will opt for staying with a local rather than in a hotel. Hope the price will be cheaper and hope the host is cute haha!

An Ego Strategy to Avoid Surrender by Eckhart Tolle

A beautifully written article but a little bit dense for me that I have to pause at each sentence or paragraph to reflect. But there are so much truth in it that I gotta share with all of you. Hope you will benefit from it too. You will be surprised that you may just see some patterns in your relationships in this article.

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What is conventionally called “love” is an ego strategy to avoid surrender. You are looking to someone to give you that which can only come to you in the state of surrender. The ego uses that person as a substitute to avoid having to surrender. The Spanish language is the most honest in this respect. It uses the same verb, te quiero, for “I love you” and “I want you.” To the ego, loving and wanting are the same, whereas true love has no wanting in it, no desire to possess or for your partner to change.

The ego singles someone out and makes them special. It uses that person to cover up the constant underlying feeling of discontent, of “not enough,” of anger and hate, which are closely related. These are facets of an underlying deep seated feeling in human beings that is inseparable from the egoic state.When the ego singles something out and says “I love” this or that, it’s an unconscious attempt to cover up or remove the deep-seated feelings that always accompany the ego: the discontent, the unhappiness, the sense of insufficiency that is so familiar.

For a little while, the illusion actually works. Then inevitably, at some point, the person you singled out, or made special in your eyes, fails to function as a cover up for your pain, hate, discontent or unhappiness which all have their origin in that sense of insufficiency and incompleteness. Then, out comes the feeling that was covered up, and it gets projected onto the person that had been singled out and made special – who you thought would ultimately “save you.” Suddenly love turns to hate.

The ego doesn’t realize that the hatred is a projection of the universal pain that you feel inside. The ego believes that this person is causing the pain. It doesn’t realize that the pain is the universal feeling of not being connected with the deeper level of your being – not being at one with yourself.The object of love is interchangeable, as interchangeable as the object of egoic wanting. Some people go through many relationships. They fall in love and out of love many times. They love a person for a while until it doesn’t work anymore, because no person can permanently cover up that pain.Only surrender can give you what you were looking for in the object of your love.

The ego says surrender is not necessary because I love this person. It’s an unconscious process of course. The moment you accept completely what is, something inside you emerges that had been covered up by egoic wanting. It is an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself. When that happens, a completely different kind of love is present which is not subject to love / hate. It doesn’t single out one thing or person as special.

--Eckhart Tolle

The Other Precious Commodity in Our Lives

People tend to say that we have to use our time wisely as it's precious. Once it's gone, it's gone. But what if, you have all the time, then what other commodity is precious in your life? Erm, no, I am not talking about Titanium (David Guetta's song that I have been mad about for almost 1 week).

That reminds me of a friend, a very dear friend of mine, who has a heart of gold and a mind of a sage, with a pool of wisdom to share with so many people. A true giving and loving soul. She has the time, she has the drive but she lacks of energy. It's something she's still fighting to regain back. Really hope she will win the war so that she can do so much more.

Remembered one time, when we were excitedly planning for our next food adventure. The place is a bit far. We haven't really set the time yet. I said something like we must plan the time wisely. She said,"and I need to manage my energy wisely too." We laughed. But I know there were so much more in that one sentence. Something that we tend to take for granted as it's something so normal for us, is something that is so rare for her. But in her despair, she still finds a silver lining in it. Seeing the bright side and making an effort to still enjoy life to the fullest. What a rare soul. She still remembers my birthday and always chooses something that she knows will speak to me. She puts in her limited energy in all these small thoughts without expecting anything in return!!!! She's doing it out of pure love.

Her life story is a wake-up call for me on how have I been using my time and energy. Have I spent it wisely? I know most of the time I am pretty upbeat. I don't get tired easily. I don't need 10 hours of sleep to recuperate. I laugh. I joke. I give my attention to whoever I am interacting though sometimes interrupted by the use of my BB. I think. I create. I crap. I consider myself blessed and lucky in this sense. But with such luck, what have I done with it? Even if I think I have done good, has it really been worth it?

My time is indeed limited but my energy is as precious. Have I been spending it at the wrong places? A question that I really need to answer on my own. Only we can decide if something is worth our breath or not. In the end, it's the quality of the things you choose that matters more than the quantity.

18.11.2011 - A precious and thoughtful gift from Miss P. You really have been God-sent.
Thank you for being my friend, can't believe we met online and love you lots!

Authenticity

Gone is the time where I just wanted to fit in
Or so, I think and feel
As the numbers are catching up with my age
I feel more comfortable in my own skin
Even with my insecurities and doubts
I don't feel the need to hide it anymore
It's me, my friends. It's me.

I am full of flaws
I am full of questions and wonders
I am ... comme ca ...
What you see, is really what you get
Unfortunately sometimes it comes with some turbulent moments
But mostly good, I hope ...

Ultimately, one life ... live it authentically
So authentic that when others imitate you ... feel honoured
As they don't know better and they look up to you
So authentic that you do things because you want to
Not because you need to please anyone

In the end, more authentic souls will come to you
Join you in this dance of life

As it takes up so much more energy to be someone else, why don't you just be yourself?

Retiring

Guest post written by my buddy Aldo Mays

When my parents decided to retire in Florida, I thought they had lost their minds. They had always lived in New York, and I thought they wanted to live there forever. We had never discussed them moving to Florida, so it just wasn’t on my radar. I was sad that they wouldn’t be near me anymore, and my sister and I knew the move would mean a lot of work for us. Our parents haven’t moved in forever, so they had no idea how to organize everything. They knew the general area they wanted to live in, but other than that they were clueless. They decided to keep their apartment in New York and buy a condo in Winter Park. Once that was all taken care of, we were relieved. My sister and I insisted they get clear wireless internet winter park so that we could video chat at least once a week. We taught them how to use the computer before they left, and then they were on their way. I can’t wait to go and visit them in the warm weather this winter!