Redefine Oneself

Huh!

As if I know anything about the subject.

Exactly, thanks to me not knowing, I'm compelled to write about it. For years I've been trying to define me, define my blog as the expert says, you need to find a niche. You need to specialize in something.

Alas, after so many years of figuring things out, I still can't find my niche. I still specialize in nothing. This frustrates me to the core.

When I look at people around me, I'm able to pinpoint:
- she is a supply chain specialist
- he dwells in hardware
- she is so good in her French
- it is so good in loving people (yes, I'm referring to the wonderful four-legged creature that I adore)

Then I take a look back at myself, what am I good at? I am not expert in skin care just because I'm working in the industry. I'm not a specialist in short term rental just because I dwelled in it for a while and worse, my beloved language of French, I'm so far from mastering it. My passion was procrastinated as I lost my steam then I stopped the course as I couldn't commit. Well, simple case look at my blogging habit, kinda say it all about me and specializing in something. This just sadden me to the core. How am I going to define myself? What am I good at?

That's when I realize defining myself in such a rigid manner doesn't work for me at all. I am who I am and I am who I'm evolving into (thanking someone for this insight). I am accepting to be the specialist in nothing and everything. I may not know a particular subject in depth but I am sure I at least heard of it or willing to learn about it. I am not ignorant.

I may not be the top student in French anymore (thanks to my lazy other half :p) but throw me back to Paris and I should be able to converse to the children now instead of playing alphabet games with them like I did in December 2008 (as shown below).

I am evolving and I love who I am becoming so far. I still not sure what is my niche, who I want to be and it may get fuzzier as I think harder. But as I let things simply flow together with life, so far it had never failed to surprise me.

I define myself as a human being with a curious mind and ever evolving soul that when I come to the end point, one thing I am sure is that I have grown to be better than I was before.

I Miss Paris Badly

My last post to fulfill my promise to my friend so that I'll not be eaten as his lunch (hmpf) ... will be a rant from my heart, which many of you would have already known anyway. Yes ... it's
I MISS PARIS BADLY!!!!!!!!

:'(
My body is here but my heart is really there. Yes, you may say I'm just a tourist there and of course I'll miss it since I was there to play and not to work and live. I can't completely disagree with that thought either but there was something about France I really like!

Some of my friends in Asia said if I do live there, I'll not get used to their super quiet "Sunday" where most of the major shops are closed. Well, people there apparently don't SHOP as much as people in Asia, but I just love it! What I really miss the most is the quality of the conversation I'm able to get while I'm with the locals there. And I love how much care and thoughts they give into what they buy, what they eat, their culture, their history, etc. It's amazing.

At times like this I can't help but wonder why is Europe so far away? Why I can't stand the aircon in Singapore and I was pretty much happy during the cold winter in Europe (with the right gear of course!!!). But if there's one thing I really really love about Asia ... Singapore and Indonesia in particular ... that will be the convenience of the public toilets system! I'll not take that for granted! With a small bladder like mine ... toilets are like my bestest friend ever!!! But, then I survived too when I was there. With the bulky winter clothes and my heavy backpack, I still survive the toilets adventure!

I really hope Hiro from Heroes will just zap me there whenever I want ... ah well, for now I can only stare at the photos I've brought back and give thanks to the experience that I already have. I'll just tell myself, Paris, I'll be back.