The Manipulative Golden Goose and Its Price

Imagine.

You are a farmer. Goose farmer to be exact.
In total you have 25 geese. Some lay more eggs than the other.
Following the 80/20 Pareto principle, only the top 5 geese produce 80% of the eggs that in turn can buy you more stuff. Then, out of the top 5 geese, apply 80/20 rule again, you have 1 special goose. Her presence may make or break your farm to as much as 20-30% of your overall egg production. That's quite significant, isn't it?

Unfortunately, nothing is perfect. It comes with a price.

• The golden goose can't get along with other geese unless she gave birth to those geese. Which eventually they will also suffer in silence but enjoying the "perks" along the way till they can't stand it anymore.
  
• The golden goose will kill off any other geese that she deems incapable.
• The golden goose has a very sensitive nature that you have to watch out for your words as she may break down and cry and traumatize not only other geese, but you, the owner of the geese.
• The golden goose is power crazy and a control freak. When you don't give her enough attention, she will "HONK HONK HONK" and scare the shit out of you.
• The golden goose is manipulative to everyone. Everything is a war zone to her.
  
• The golden goose is a very insecure and paranoid being. She keeps thinking others geese may want to eat her up. (Though in actual fact, other geese are too busy with their own food)
• The golden goose will plot her way to get rid of any beings that come in between her and the farmers even though it's just a farm dog.
  

There you go. You have a pretty well to do farm. However, life is not always pleasant in there. Dealing with the maniac golden goose sometimes may take a toll on your brain cell. But life still needs to go on. In the world of the survival of the fittest, you do what it takes to make sure your eggs production will continue to grow. You know the battle is half won with your golden goose by your side.

However, one day, the golden goose felt tired from all the hallucinations that seemed real. She called it quit. You were horrified. You fed her 55% more and you even enthroned her as queen goose. She was happy. For a while. Until she realized her reign is limited. She wants more. She demands other geese to bow down to her. Call her queen everyday. Is she satisfied now? Nope. There's still the farm dog who has nothing to do with the eggs production but still the dog is closer to the farmers. The golden goose is plotting her way to get rid of the dog. That's her next goal in life.

You take a step back from your owner's hat and look at the whole situation. Do you really own the golden goose? Or she owns you?

If you are the farmer, what would you do? Will you cut the goose loose? If $ is your goal, this goose is a keeper. No matter how much unrest and turmoil it may cause towards other geese. You don't really care. In the end, the money in the pocket speaks louder than the tranquility of your farm.

In the end, it depends on yourself. If you are new to such farm, under such farmers, will you be playing the game or stand aside and slowly lose your presence? If you do play the game, will you fight back, stay away or wait till a better farm comes along and hop on. The choice is in your hand.

Life sometimes does throw you shit. (Pardon my "french", can't help it!) And it's up to you how to deal with it. In the end, your life, your moves. No matter how many advisors are there to back you up, the final call is on your hand. Life is magnanimous though, if you make the wrong move. The most, pick a new farm and farmer and play a different set of game. Who knows you learn so much that you are able to be the enlightened golden goose instead.

Image courtesy of http://forum.c-rpg.net/index.php?topic=33.0

The Gift That Gives to the Givers

Two weeks ago, my friend whom I knew from one of the earlier French class I attended, invited a group of us for her 10th year anniversary. In my life, I have only heard of such event in movies but never really participated in any. I almost went to a panic mode when a dress code was announced, my wardrobe looks more suitable for going to the market than any of such big event. No wonder I never really like to go to wedding. The dress code scares me!

But she's a very special friend of mine. I call her "ma tante" (means my aunty in French). She doesn't look like any typical aunty though she may shop like one but she looks like a "hot" momma! In our group of 10 ladies who love French things (and some - like me - took it to the extreme by carrying piece of Eiffel everywhere), ma tante has always been the mother figure to everyone. She's selfless and being the Type A personality, always makes sure things are well thought and planned for.

So, when such monumental event was being announced, I seriously wonder deeply what gift would be appropriate? Clueless, really. Not to mention, she has warned a lot of times, not to give her anything as she doesn't need anything in life. Just be there and enjoy the moment. But how can that be possible!

I thought, what else could be better than to find a gift that gives more. So I asked her, will it be okay if I donate to a charity of her choice. She was very supportive to the idea and asked me to check out www.ForJuliana.org, the fiance of one of the most touching story on American Idol 2011 contestant, Chris Medina. If you haven't heard about him, please do. Check out the following videos:
- American Idol audition
- His single "What Are Words"

In short, Chris and Juliana were supposed to get married but a tragic car accident wrecked their dreams away just 2 months prior to the wedding. However, he chose to stay by her side and mentioned these few precious words that has become the inspiration of his single - “What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most.”

Once hearing my plan, the rest of Les Frenchies girls were on board with me and together we donated through Laurus Foundation and everyone was delighted. Secretly though, I was not that satisfied. Ma tante deserves more than this, I thought. So, I bombarded the email of the Executive Director of the Foundation, Chris Medina's FB and Chris Medina's official website. When you ask, you do receive.

The morning of the event, I received the most wonderful email from Juliana's mom - Janet, who told me that Chris thought it would be more personal to handwrite a letter to ma tante. Thanks to my friend's office printer too, we managed to pull things through and the result is as seen below.


As much as one may see it is a touching and thoughtful gift. But to me personally, the whole experience, has given me the most meaning. Sure, the destination was worth it :) but the journey to get there, the kind souls who have taken the extra miles in making sure ma tante was surprised = Priceless.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the following kind souls with the equal order of importance and significance:

• Jim Dolan, the Executive Director of Laurus Foundation - Thanks for passing the message to Chris. I hope your foundation will be able to reach the goal to help Juliana.
• Janet, Juliana's mom - Thanks for taking the time to write to me and making sure it pulls through not only in time but in such a beautiful manner. Wish Juliana a steady recovery. With so much love and prayers from all over the world, it is just about the timing, Juliana will be okay again :)
• Chris Medina - Thanks for taking the time to send us the handwritten letter. You are indeed a rare soul who chose to stand by your partner in times of need. Your story will be an inspiration to many people. Wish you all the best in your singing career.
• Ma tante - For being such a loving figure. Your selflessness is something that is so rare that not only your family is lucky to have you but we are so privileged to have known you.
  
• M.Y. - For taking the risk to go back to her office to get the letter printed.
  
• Les Frenchies - For supporting me in this idea and put Singapore on the map in supporting Juliana :) You girls are DIAMONDS! (They love their blings too much ...)
  
• The Emcee of the night - For the beautiful suggestion and convincing me to read it out to ma tante as if Chris was there reading it to her. Though I need lots of drinks before that, but it was a once in a lifetime moment and it was an honour.
• Oprah - *WHAT* Haha ... well, so that I'm able to say these words. "So this is how Oprah feels." Through her shows, the most meaningful moment was when people were touched not by the material things but by gifts with thoughts and meaning. This is truly an A-HA moment for me.
  
• Unseen forces of life - For giving me the instinct and inspiration to something that is so meaningful. For bringing me to the people that can make all these happen.
• My readers - Thank you for still reading up to this point. :) Your silent attention has been one of the driving force for me to stay creative in all areas of my life.
  

I have learned through this experience that the true gift in life is not only the joy we see in the eyes of the recipients but also the fulfilling effect to the giver. Giving is the gift that gives to the givers. Hope you will be compelled to give in whatever ways you choose to.

If you would like to support Juliana Recovery Fund, you may do so with the widget at the end of this post. Thank you so much for your time and attention.

What Kind of Relationship Do You Have With Money?

Silly question, you must think. Because before this weekend, I have never thought that I am having a relationship with money. Eh wait, not true. I did hear this phrase before, from my "momma" Oprah. She didn't pose the question but she briefly mentioned in one of her show that from the early age, she has always had a good relationship with money.

That sentence stuck on my head with more questions for almost a week. What does she mean by that? Do I have a good relationship with money?

Then, on Friday, one of the speaker from National Achievers Congress 2011 in Singapore - Kerwin Rae, a joint venture expert who loves to sky dive nude; posed this question - what kind of relationship do you have with money? Do you talk to your money? Do you tell your money about your goals and dreams? I seriously thought he had lost it or I have lost my mind to not understand him.

He continued by giving me one of the best analogy that to this date is a profound realization. He said imagine money is your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend or even your best friend. As money is just a thing and by nature it is abundant and available, it has a positive vibe.

If you have the negative vibe by always being needy, always wanting the attention from money, always think money is "lacking"; soon or later, just like any relationships between human beings, one of them will leave as they can't stand the insecurity that the partner exudes.

I tried my best to depict the analogy with a doodle but I think I did a horrible job but still decide to show it off anyway. :p



Now, I understand better what Oprah was saying. She has never come from the place of lack, as her conviction is strong with The One who provides, she has never worried. As for Kerwin Rae, he has lost all his money 2x in his life but each time he bounced back, he had more than before. Not sure if believes in higher power or not but in my observation it is because he knows he can always get more money by doing more joint ventures and cutting some deals. He just needed to make sure he kept on learning and not to fall back to his previous mistake.

The theory sounds easy indeed. One needs to come from a place of abundance in order to be abundant. But in practice, like any relationships, it takes time. Being aware that one needs to change is a huge step to begin with. Next, is to move forward and be committed to the change. If it works out, the relationship will flourish and create a win-win situation. If it doesn't, the relationship falls apart and some may end up with ugly break-ups/divorces. Or, if one chooses to not have any relationship at all with money, nothing is wrong with that too. Life is after all filled with a series of choices after another.



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What Can I Get Used To?

There is something about hotel rooms that I love. Sitting in this room with the to-die-for view on the 38th floor of Marina Bay Sands, makes me miss doing what I used to do with myself.

I am well known (among a few close friends) to be able to just book a hotel room for one night with no one else but myself. It was a ritual.

I love the tranquility. The availability. The amenities and most importantly, the silence and disconnected-ness.

I haven't been doing it for a while now and I think I should be doing it real soon. Life has been full of "stuffs" and "distractions" that I haven't been in touch with my inner self.

It may sound non-sensical and selfish to you. If so, you don't know me well yet. But to those who get what I just said, thank you for getting it and for accepting the way I am.

Looking out the window, I think to myself, I can get used to this. Full length window with the best view of Singapore. The serenity and awesomeness they provide are priceless. I am grateful to be where I am now by being who I am. And I am really thankful to the people who have made this possible. Even though at this moment my view is accompanied by an orchestra of snores, they are still magnificent.

Looking forward to more breathtaking views to come for the rest of my life. And even more looking forward to share my experiences with you, my beloved readers.

Hope you enjoy what I'm seeing now as much as I do.





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The Legacy Effect - National Achievers Congress 2011

Thanks to my friend and mentor, Dennis Ng, I have the chance to attend the National Achievers Congress 2011 at Singapore Expo.

The first speaker was Adam Ginsberg (speaker and trainer on making money online using eBay, Amazon, etc). And as I am typing now, the second one is some forex trader - Greg Secker, which I am not really interested so I'd rather blog what I have learned from the first speaker.

Two of the important messages by Adam were:
1. I matter
2. What kind of legacy would you want to leave after you die?

I thought it was funny that an Internet entrepreneur was sharing about legacy. But then I understand, he just wrote a book that has not sold yet in the market which he was generous enough to give everyone in the room a copy. Voila, mine as shown in the photo.




Grateful. That's how I am feeling right now.

So, what else do I learn from this generous author?

1. It is possible.
Quite straight forward. Whatever you think or not is possible. A motivational start to my sleepy morning.

2. What you talk about, happens. If you don't want it to happen, don't talk about it.
This is my most favourite quote or lesson ever. Give it a thought, cause I will try to internalize it every day. I hope you will see some profound truth in it.

3. When you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Quite similar to lesson #2. If one keeps complaining about their shortcomings, when will they ever improved? They have no time to think about solutions or to move forward because they are addicted to the attention they get by blabbering about what they can't do something.

4. In life, you may have the most grandiose goals and dreams. But unexpected things may happen that caught you off guard.
Life, as fragile as it seems already, may throw you some challenges here and there when you don't expect them. For example, a few years back in late August (can't remember the exact year), Adam was talking to his mom in the morning. His mom looked a bit tired so he asked her to rest and take it easy. The mom said okay. He said,"I love you, mom." and his mom replied,"I love you too." 3 hours later his father called and told him that his mom has passed away.

Now I understand what he meant when he said,"Today is the last day of my lasting legacy."

Because every breathing and heart-beating moment, you are creating a legacy. Whether your legacy will be remembered and provide certain value; they are really up to you. This sure gets me thinking.

On random note, sharing a snapshot with my not so good phone camera of Mr. Incredible Hulk - Lou Ferrigno who made a short appearance for today.



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Belle du Berry & David Lewis in Singapore

Alliance Francaise de Singapour was proud to present French Groove event and one of the memorable guest who closed the series was A Concert by Belle du Berry & David Lewis (Saturday, 14 May 2011 - @ 7.30PM) presenting most songs from the album, Quizz. I am truly honoured to be part of that experience. Thanks to my ex-French classmate who is always in the know of interesting things, I was present for one of the most enlightening experience in my life.

When I found out about them, I did a little bit of homework before the concert by visiting their youtube videos. But seriously, none of the videos did justice to the real experience of simply being there and be lost with the experience. Though most of the time I have trouble understanding the lyrics (I bet they are great too), but the music and the musicians did my confusion justice. I was automatically transported to an imaginary land where everything is cryptic and hypnotic.


Belle du Berry - singer, song writer and also accordion player, has proven that she has more talent than just those 3 areas. She has her charm or some kind of "law of attraction" to make audience who has been 99% of the time glued to their seats, stood up and danced to the beat at the very last song. She didn't give up on that idea throughout the concert and she nailed it. She got what she wished for.

As you can see in the photo below, my view was blocked by the dancing crowd.


David Lewis - plays the trumpet and piano (sometimes both at the same time). I don't need to elaborate more on his talent. He does know how to maximize the value of his trumpet by combining method that is not traditionally seen. Here, he dipped the trumpet into a bowl of water to create an eerie and mysterious sound that can only be imagined if you are alone in the dark and watching some old detectives' movies.

There are indeed differences between artists who create and perform from their souls and those who are out there for commercial reasons. The experience they create will linger on. I did wish I was able to have the entire concert be played again. Unfortunately, such unique performance, there's no DVD available. Even CD won't do justice to it. It's the moment and the experience that count. Just like life.

How Do You Manage Your Money?

Managing finances may come naturally to some and not to others. So how do you manage yours? Do you use any budget software or simply has a chart of your own? Do you actually know how much you earn, spend and save? Or every time you simply take it as it goes?

Personally, I simply use my own DIY excel chart to keep track of my finances. Though it's not really perfect but at least I know where my money goes to. Many books and techniques have been written in this area but I think one of most important feature of any personal finance theory will be - Pay Yourself First!

Paying yourself first simply mean, when your income hits your bank account, you automatically decide an amount to not be used for anything else but for your savings. And this Pay-Yourself-First amount shall not be spent on things but may be used for investment, retirement, etc. It trains one to be disciplined but most importantly, by paying yourself first you are safe guarding your money from the unnecessary spending - unless emergency. Subconsciously, you will also be telling yourself that your well being matters first.

The typical amount that has been advocated by most books is to set aside 10% of your income for a start. When you are able, do increase it. Those in the higher income brackets are even able to do between 50-70% of their income. For me, it has been a steep learning process. I did start with 10% inconsistently but now I have been seeing fruits of my labour when I consistently pay myself minimum of 30% every month. Though sometimes when emergency strikes, it will eat into what I've been saving but as long as I'm disciplined in paying myself first, I have created a safe amount of emergency fund.

What this process has taught me throughout the years are the following:
1. I matter.
2. Nobody is responsible for your money but yourself.
3. It delays instant gratifications
4. It creates a pool of emergency fund
5. It's not about how much you earn but how much you save

I hope you may benefit from this little sharing of mine. In this uncertain times, you may not know if your income will still be there one day. But when you are still in control of that, you can make a difference by protecting and growing your wealth through baby steps. Unless of course, you have rich parents, then feel free to squander your money. Just make sure you are in their wills. :p

What is Your "Religion"?

I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation
You're living in the past it's a new generation
A girl can do what she wants to do and that's
What I'm gonna do
An' I don't give a damn ' bout my bad reputation
Oh no not me
- Joan Jett, Bad Reputation

Joan Jett, one of the prominent lady in the rock music world. If you haven't heard of her, you have at least heard or chanted one of her famous song - "I Love Rock 'n Roll". She's a legend and even being coined as Queen of Rock.

I have heard of her songs on MTV Classic when I was really little. (I'm still little now, don't remind me!) but I didn't know she is really so COOL until I saw her on Oprah. She's 52 now and still rocking like crazy. Not to mention her physique looks like she's still in her 20s! Face may show "a little" and covered by make-up but the energy that she exudes definitely has the 20s vibe! Even Miley Cyrus is not as cool as her (yet?), though she's still carving her real path besides the Hannah Montana thing. Give her time.

Check out the video below where they both performed in The Oprah Winfrey Show.

Oprah: I know you said that you don't just love rock 'n roll but it's your religion.

Joan Jett: Yes, I take it very seriously and I think that it's important to do what you love and rock 'n roll, when I grew up really had sort of a context and a meaning and so, I felt it's like a religion to me.

I guess that's what being authentic is all about. Being true to yourself. Follow your passion. Loving and living your passion and spread it to the people who appreciate it. It will eventually show in your charisma, your physique, your energy and your being. The next thing you know, it is so contagious that it will breed the next generation of passionate people.

Why I chose the quote from her song - Bad Reputation as the opening line? Because the music video was really her journey to be who she is today. As cheesy as it looked like (well it's the 80s, baby), that was her true story. Being rejected in the beginning by so many music labels, she set up her own label and the rest is history.



You may like or dislike rock 'n roll. You may care a lot of your reputation or not but the lesson to be learned is just make sure you find your "religion"; something you really care and live for. It may not be the traditional ones. Who cares? I am still not sure what is my "religion" as I still can't find things that I take SO SERIOUSLY till it consumes me (bummer!) but I will find one, I'm feeling it (delusionally psyching myself up :p). Just remember, one can do what one wants to do and just do it.

Disclaimer:
Make sure what you want to do don't harm people lah ....