Thank You, 2012. Come Here You, 2013.

Wow ... without realizing, this is a ritual I have which I also did in 2011 when I said Au Revoir to 2011 and Bonjour to 2012. I shall, ask the same questions again and that will be:

What have you learned?
What will you leave behind?
What will you bring with you to 2013?

2012 has been a wonderful year to me in so many levels. Looking back, 2012 has been my best year ever in my entire life. I thought 2011 was the best then 2012 proves me wrong. For that, I thank you, 2012. Every single moments I had with you was simply splendid and memorable. It was colourful beyond explanations. Some of the experiences are unimaginably precious, which will only come by once in a lifetime. I'm glad I lived through it fully and not missing any of those moments.

What Have I Learned?

• I have learned that living the best life means living, breathing and being your true self no matter what others say.
• I have learned that making sure I am happy at any given moment will bring me to places I've never been.
• I have learned by taking care of myself and making sure I'm at my best in all areas, life will give its best to me too.
• I have learned that after every lessons I learned, I thought I understood, life will change and the lessons are totally renewed and I have to humble myself to learn something new again. There is indeed no absolute.
• I have learned 3 other important lessons which I think will break them into 3 posts and share it in 2013. Wow ... what a learning year 2012 has been for me.

What Will I Leave Behind?

• I will leave behind the thoughts that whatever I do is not good enough. Because I have done enough. I have given enough and I am enough.
• I will leave behind people who are unappreciative of what I have done because there are many others who will, and some I've not met yet.

What Will I Bring with Me to 2013?

• I will bring with me, the precious people who value me, who see me as I am, who accept me, who grow with me, who teach me, who don't give up on me, who bother to let me know how I meant to them, who occasionally popped by to let me know I am being missed (you know who you are SYT), who bothers to include me on special events even though I'm a new addition and who are simply who they are. That took courage, so I bring with me courageous bunch of awesome souls into this wonderful year.
• I will still bring with me, my intuition, my feeling, my heart that beats and senses things better than my mind. They have never failed me.
• I will bring with me my faith in all good things in life.
• I will bring with me my sense of wonder.
• I will bring with me an empty mind so it will be filled with new lessons and experiences. Though I must really thread carefully on what I want to learn next.

2012, really thank you. I could list down how eventful my life from the beginning until the end of the year but that will be such a bore. You know. I know. That's enough. I have to let you go now. I have to enter 2013, another floodgate will open for me. I can feel it. But without you, 2012, I wouldn't be who I am now and I wouldn't be ready to embrace what's in store for me. It was a blast and now it will be part of my precious memory.

Hope you will have a great year ahead too, dear readers!

C.S. Lewis said it best - "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."

If you ask me what the most memorable and impactful moment of my life was - it would have been this;
my very own event "Dîner en Noir". Didn't know it was possible, it was merely a stupid idea.
(Thursday, 30th of August 2012)

Image courtesy of Brian Tracy's FB page.

If the World Ends on 21.12.2012

So the Mayans said the world may end on 21/12/2012. How exciting if that's real. There and then whatever you need to do, you don't need to any more. You will be eternally freed - unless you are reincarnated again and you have to serve your Karma which means nothing much has changed. Bummer.

Assuming, it will really end when the clock strikes midnight, what will you be doing? Will you be happy with whatever you are doing then? What if, the world ends in the afternoon, or even at night? Will you be pleased with the people you are spending time with? If not, ever wonder why you are doing it?

Honestly, I don't really know what Mayans were predicting but I don't think the world will just vanish on 21/12. But, one never knows. I mean, it may not be 21/12, it could be 25/12, then what?

Most importantly is to really live as if you are going to die everyday, every single moment. Also to look at people around with such mindset too and you will live differently. All fights don't matter. All flaws don't seem to be as huge any longer. But you can't control if others do though. You can only live your best life and let others be as they are. Even if your best maybe their worst nightmares, then maybe you should look for people who could appreciate your best instead.

Strange isn't it, it takes death to make one knows how to live. But even with death as our final destination, we tend to forget about that one important fact. We live as if we are going to live forever. We still try to prove we are right. We try to justify our wrong deeds. We are all going to die anyway, does it matter? Can't we lighten up a little bit? Have fun a little bit? Spread some joy a little bit? Give a little more. Keep the guard down. Let loose. Be vulnerable and fall and then get back up again then fly then fall then get back up again then breathe and feel free. 

If the Mayans are right this time, I would say, I have lived my best life. It could have been better in certain areas but up to this point, I am very pleased with the way I live. 

How about you?

If it does end, just remember this quote from the movie I'm watching - Pitch Perfect.
"Told you. Endings are the best part."

That may just be right for anything. :) Cause you may not know what beautiful beginnings you will be welcomed with at the other side. 

At My Best, I Chirp

I love birds.
I love looking at birds.
I especially love when they just fly and soar up to the sky.
Or, when they say "hello" by flying right in front of me and catch me by surprise.

The slight sight of them will light up my face.
The slight sound of them will make me join them into nature's acapella group (when I'm alone, of course).

Friends on my FB are pretty used to my love affairs with birds, especially the pigeons. Well, I only recognize pigeons or occasionally Oriole ... the rest, I don't know their names. They never asked me to call them, maybe.

Besides being called a bird face and I do have a bird brain that tends to forget many things, I realize, at my best, I am like a bird. I chirp, I fly around, I mingle and I really chirp non-stop. At my worst, I hide in my nest, refusing to fly anywhere and my chirp subsides.

No birds chirp at all times and no birds hide at all times too.
Guess, that's the lesson I'm learning that I, occasionally, need to rest my chirping.
Though it feels "off", but there's nothing wrong with it.

Like this bird that was spotted by someone who has keen eyes for details, right outside my window, I too, need to rest and be alone. Sometimes, for no logical reasons at all, and that's alright. Because birds do what birds do best. They will chirp again when they feel like it.

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”
- Joseph Campbell

 

So, Which 3 Days of Your Life Are You Grateful For?

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, Everyone!

Well, it's not something that's well celebrated in Singapore but I "enforced" it among my best friends since last year and it has been a ritual for us since then. A great ritual I must say. Ok, it has only been 2 years haha! But heck, it's going to be a ritual from now on.

Due to my short-term memory, I don't really remember what I was thankful for in 2011 but my great BFF kept it on her mobile and we were able to have a glimpse of all things we were thankful for. Apparently my cockiness has never changed. I always declare that I have too many things to be thankful for and my list can grow as long as I want them too. No! I was not born this way. Trust me on this. It's a learned process.

Anyway, as I was short of time ... with my tired body that just touched down Singapore from a long trip, I chanced upon this newsletter when my Blackberry was finally able to receive emails. The title of the email is - 20 Questions for Thanksgiving.

So, while my BFFs were thinking about what they were grateful for (since I already did it the night before, yeah yeah ... I'm a snob haha!), I threw them some of the questions from the given list. I didn't ask them all but one of my favourite question was:

 14) Name three days in your life that you feel especially grateful for.

One of my friend said - Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
The other one said - 23, 24 and 25 of December.

And here are mine:

1. The day I was aware that I will die
   Don't ask me when I realized this. I don't have the exact date. But maybe, it was sometimes in 2007. When I was so fully aware that my heart is not going to beat here forever, I lived differently. It was a good realization but not as good as when I came to the next realization. Anyway, I was pretty ready with my own eulogy but I think it still can be done better than that. I must thank my MonkeyBro for teaching me the most important phrase on earth "Memento Mori".
2. The day I was aware that people around me will die
   Well, I knew about this in Oct 2012. It was an internally painful process. When I finally realized that my loved ones will just vanish and I won't even know when. This realization is very different compared to #1 and I must say it's so much more powerful. Words couldn't express the essence of this lesson. You really have to live and feel it. I see people differently since then. Not just my loved ones, everyone.
3. The day I was "roughly" aware of my purpose of life
   This is a tough one! It has been a gradual process! I have been asking the question of "purpose of life" for really long! For many years! I never stopped asking myself and even strangers. I asked others because I thought through them I might just see a glimpse of my answer. My friends found me amusing and probably a bit strange, but heck, I kept on asking. Eventually, I slowly unfolded it. I wouldn't say that I know the exact answer to it but I know I am on my way of discovering and I'm in a better place compared to where I was when I asked that question.
4. (To insert my cockiness here, I am adding #4 though only 3 were required) The day I understood my mother's advice.
I don't need to say much. Click the link above and you will get what I mean. If I ever forget all the lessons above, I think by remembering my mom's best words, I am safe in life. It's a great moral compass that took me 14 years to fully grasp it. But once I got it, I have never lived a day without it. Never! Even Shakespeare agrees with it when he said - "to thine own self be true".

Gratitude is heaven itself. – William Blake

So, again, happy thanksgiving! It's a day that I think should be celebrated daily. So, what are the 3 days of your life that you are grateful for? Why not make it everyday since we are all blessed with 365 days per year? Wouldn't that be awesome. :)

What am I thankful for on Friday, 23 November 2012? I am thankful for the new people I met below that have made my day so memorable. It would have never been the same without them. So, thank you George, Heather, Zaki, Haikel and Rhizza (whom I met on the very sad day when my mentor passed away). Didn't know she too experienced the same thing as I did then. Life is an amazing journey, isn't it? You really wouldn't know where it will bring you, so just sail your boat and keep discovering what it has to offer.

Important Message from Dr Richard Teo Keng Siang (1972-2012)

This video that I am about to share is worth watching. I have shared it on my Facebook and it's so good that I really hope those of you who are not my FB friends will also have the chance to view it, hence I decide to blog it.

I first chanced upon the message also on FB, it was a long transcript which can be found in this link. It was a great message but the video has more impact on me (and different from the transcript above). I know I have blogged about my future eulogy and remembering the mortalities of people around us, but actually listening to the message directly from a man who was really dying, made it more real.

Dr Richard Teo was a 40-year-old millionaire and cosmetic surgeon with a stage-4 lung cancer. Towards the end of his life, he realized what really is essential in his life and hence his message is for people to not make the same mistake as him.

I am not able to embed the video, so here's the link once again. I hope you will benefit it as much as I do.

"When I faced death, when I had to, I stripped myself off all stuff totally and I focused only on what is essential. The irony is that a lot of times only when we learn how to die then we learn how to live. ... Don't let society tell you how to live. Don't let the media tell you what you're supposed to do okay because that's what happened to me. And I led this life thinking all these things are going to bring me happiness. I hope you will think about it and decide for yourself how you want to live your life. Not according to what other people tell you to do and you have to decide whether you want to serve yourself or whether you are going to make a difference in somebody else's life. Because true happiness doesn't come from serving yourself." 
- Dr Richard Teo

PS.
27 October 2012
I just found out from all the comments given by anonymous people that the video has turned private. :(
As I'm not the owner of the video, I can't make it public.
However a kind stranger has provided me with the updated link and voila hereby I'm sharing it once again. (I can't embed it still). Hope everyone will benefit from this!
Thanks, whoever-you-are to update me on this!

My "Diving" Experience

The first time I saw this image from my friend's Facebook page (I think it was 5th of August 2012), I told myself,"Huah! I want to do that too. I want to dive with the sharks!" Shortly after, I registered and confirmed my trip just like that. 

2.5 months later, I passed my theory test and finally on the 19th of October made my way to Tioman, Malaysia for the rest of the practical training. It was pouring cats and dogs on the first day of my training, but that didn't bother me. We were all going to get wet anyway.

When I was putting on my wet suit... ho boy, I didn't like it at all. I was thinking to myself. This is one troublesome activity ever. I had to wear a full body suit as they didn't have any other in my size. After which, we had to carry all the gears and went into the pool for the first pool training. We were made to swim 20 laps in that wet suit. I thought - the pool is so small, this is going to be easy. But it was not - I was so quickly out of breath due to the weight of the wet suit and super choppy pool water. Urgh. 

We continued with other exercises, they were fine until we had to clear the mask full of water under the water. That was when I simply lost it. I couldn't get used to not being able to use my eyes and nose at the same time. I totally hate the feeling of it. Maybe it's because I have never swum without goggles since 9yo. I simply couldn't swim with eyes opened or closed under water. Just not natural for me. Towards the end of the day, I was also shivering like mad. So cold! The full body suit didn't protect me at all too. I seriously kept asking myself, why on earth did I sign up for this? Geez! So, yeah, I threw in the towel. I called it quit the next day. I simply knew diving is simply not for me despite how many people told me "Oh, you are so going to love it." They are all wrong. I don't love it. It was one of the easiest decision I've ever made in my life. No regrets at all.

While my dive mates were training in the pool, I spent an amazing time on the beach from +/- 1 to 8PM. One of the longest ever for me to do so. Yeah, I got burnt alright. But I also saw "Nemo" when playing around in the beach. I fed the fish and they all swam around me. I had so much fun and geez, I didn't even need to breathe in and breathe out unnaturally from the gas tank! I breathed the air that The Universe has supplied to me for free. Fresh!
  

The rocks that mesmerized me the first time I saw them.

I realize there and then that:

1. What you think is cool for others, doesn't mean it's cool for you.
2. Sometimes, you really do need to try things out to decide if it's for you or not. 
3. As long as you are not having fun, don't bother doing it. Don't waste time. (Of course, some works need to be done whether it's fun or not fun.)
4. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. If you don't like it, quit it. Time is more precious than your pride.

I bet the underwater world must be amazing. Look at the image above with the sharks, splendid and magnificent. I believe my inability to scuba dive means I may have missed out on many amazing sea creatures. But I find diving deeper into other realms above sea level is as fulfilling too. People to be understood. Lessons to be learned. Sunsets to be admired. Miracles to be recognized.

I love my "dive" in the here and now and every moment I am still discovering much more than I could imagine. I say bye to the underwater world while maintaining my "buoyancy" on earth, to discover more "little wonders" to be shared with you. I leave the sea to the people who truly are having fun in it instead. So yeah, I'm D.D. and I chickened out from the diving course. I'm proud of it and love myself for it.

“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh

Image courtesy of someone else. I stole it with permission but without approval yet. But should be okay lah...!

 

Lesson Learned through Friendships Woes

In the last 3.5 years, I have seen a few circles of my friendships are missing a few of their links. Recently, such occurrence happened again. I realize, at all time, I am always the bridge. No, not bridge, I am not connecting anything between the separated worlds. I am simply connected to both parties and have the privilege to see things from both points of view (as much as they are willing to share with me, of course) and to really, not judge who's right, who's wrong. Because ultimately, only the people who are in the situation will know the truth. Words conveyed, to me, are just words conveyed.

It always saddened me to see friendship falls apart.If I can befriend everyone in the world from all walks of life, I will. I will also encourage them to be my friends on Facebook because I really love to share quotes with them. Haha. But, I have learned through life that, everyone really has different lessons to be learned, at their own pace, at their own time. We may not understand it at the moment, like pieces of puzzle, but eventually as time goes by, the picture will form and the grandeur of the image is splendid. Everything will turn out to be for the best for each individual. They will be happier. They will finally find a safe harbour to dock their ships. They will eventually find where they belong. All will be well.
  





To my friends who are affected in the recent curve ball, if you are reading this, I just want to let you know that I love each and everyone dearly. It is a sad fact that things have happened and each time when anything happens, like a pebble dropped into any body of water, it will have its own ripple effect. Things will change. People will be affected. But like that body of water, once the ripple effect subsides, all will look calm again. The pebble will sink and the ripples will simply be part of the serene water. It is still there, but it is at peace and "one" with the water.

If it's meant to be, people will find their way back at their own time, through their own way. If it's not meant to be, people simply have their own paths to walk on. Let them be. Let us be. Let it be. 

Thank you for those great moments together. What we had was precious and forever etched in my heart. In the here and now, let us create our very own new beginnings and let them blossom to whatever The Universe has in store for us. So far, The Universe has never disappointed me. All is eventually well.  

It’s not always about trying to fix something that’s broken.  Some relationships and situations just can’t be fixed.  If you try to force them back together, things will only get worse.  Sometimes it’s about starting over and creating something better. - Marc and Angel Hack Life

Relationship, It Should Be Easy.

What an interesting night I had ...!

Spending time with 6 French speaking people after my 1 whole month of detox, oh how apt! Not only my ears were having orgasms, I was being spoilt with great food and great wine and most importantly, with my super broken Fransinglais (French+Singlish) I was able to carry a "decent" conversation with a Spanish lady in French.

A little bit of background story on how I ended up where I was:

• I attended a series of wine conferences. Out of 4 of them, I had to spit my wine 3 times. Tonight, finally I got to taste the wine in that fantastic heavenly uniquely Helicium glass which I am going to acquire soon for its magic.
• My friend is in-charge of the event, he was tidying things up and I was helping him. He asked me if I would like to have dinner with "them". I was like ... eh? them who? Them apparently were the organizers, the wine glass seller, the presenter, etc .... so of course I said,"OUI" without a shadow of doubt.

So, we had dinner at Bistro du vin. I had the most pathetic portion compared to all of them. They must have thought I am some kind of pauper for simply eating salad. But seriously, I was not hungry lah. But from what they were eating, I know what to order next.

The highlight of the day for me was when the entire dinner was over. I was so ready to take my direct bus home. One couple (the presenter and the wife whose name I don't even know properly till now!!!! I believe it was Gabriella) talked among themselves then decided to send me home. I was pleasantly surprised and I never said no when the universe has arranged free transport. So, I began my journey with them.

I didn't know they are husband and wife. I thought they are DATING! Why? Because there's this air of sweetness between them. He was driving but he dropped himself at Alliance Francaise as his scooter was there. The wife then drove me back and drove back home. When it was only the wife and I in the car, I started to ask my infamous questions in French.

DD: Wow, so you are husband and wife! I can't tell!
The wife: Haha. Yeah, we've been married for 11 years.
DD: No way! 11 years???
The wife: Yeah. 2 kids. 2 boys.
DD: You know to most people that's considered a miracle right?
The wife: Haha! Maybe!
DD: So how's married life? Heard it's supposed to be hard work.
The wife: No way. To me, it's joie de vivre (joy of living). It's never hard work.
DD: I think it's the first time I hear this. I agree with what you said though. It shouldn't be difficult. It should feel easy.
The wife: Exactly. That's how I feel. It's never difficult.
DD: That's really great because you belong to the minority. But how do you know he's the one?
The wife: Honestly, I didn't know if he was the one or not. Even until the day I have to walk down the isle, I was still not sure and my friends were making sure I was not escaping somewhere.
DD: Seriously? And look how far you've come.
The wife: Ya. I never regret it.
DD: That's life. You'll never know anyway. I'm glad you took the plunge. Nice meeting you. Enchanté et bonne nuit.
The wife: A vous aussi. Ciao.

Many times I've heard that relationship is hard work. Marriage is hard work. Like seriously? Who imparted such beliefs to these people? Well, it may not be incorrect. It does require work, but HARD WORK???? You do know what you believe will become reality right?

No wonder when people around me made that statement, my gut feel disagrees with them in silence. It shouldn't be hard. If it's hard, you need to force it to happen. If you force, then what's the point? It should be easy. It should flow. It should just happens. If it doesn't, it's fine too. Have you ever seen river flows through "hard work"? Or do they simply flow to the sea?

I agree with Gabriella completely. She got it. If they never told me they are husband and wife of 11 years, I really wouldn't have guessed it at all. They were so sweet, gentle, kind and polite to each other as if they were just dating for the first time. How many couples you have witnessed around you are like that? Tell me? For me, they are one of the very few. The rest must be pretty forgettable or "work too hard" that they simply look like the typical husband and wife who believe that marriage is hard work.

I am not a relationship expert but I do know how powerful our minds are. Whatever you think is true, will be true. If you think relationship requires hard work, then it will be for you. Personally, there are certain truths in both perspectives. When others view it as hard work while you are actually feeling happy doing things for your loved one(s), who do you think is right? Both. But which direction you choose to believe and set the course of your life, is entirely up to you.

Thank you, Universe, for letting me meet such wonderful couple. They are truly inspirational.

Love does not dominate; it cultivates.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe