The Wonder of Facial Expressions

I remember sitting down with 3 of my friends in a restaurant. We were having dinner and chatting as usual. At one moment, we were talking about something, which I couldn't remember what by now. But I remembered at one point, 2 of my friends were not saying anything but I knew at that exact moment what they were thinking. Just at that split second, I read their microexpressions and those spoke louder than words.

More often than not, our facial expression gives away things that we don't even realize. That's when we know someone is sad, happy, angry, etc without the need for the other party to verbalize their feeling. However, for people who are really experts in reading microexpressions, they could even detect lies.Through those brief and involuntary facial expressions, there are seven universal emotions such as disgust, anger, fear, sadness, happiness, surprise and contempt. Supposedly, it is very difficult to hide microexpressions reactions which only lasts for 1/25 to 1/15 of a second, unless one is a psychopath. That is totally of different wavelength.

I must say I learn quite a lot watching a TV show called "Lie to Me" (I have embedded the trailer video in this blog post for your reference). It made me more aware of others' facial reactions. Though I don't really know how to read them, but still interesting to just observe that tiny changes.

Pay attention next time. Watch when people talk. You may pick up one or two things you have never seen before.

Remember to Cut Your Losses

As I go deeper in the tunnel called life, I realized some things simply happened at the most perfect timing. Just today, my friend on Facebook posted an image with such a beautiful message which seriously couldn't come at a more precise timing of my life.

The message in the image shown below (in case you can't view it in any of your device) is -

"I've learned that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings. Even if I respect theirs. Being a good person, doesn't guarantee that others will be good people too. 

You only have control over yourself on how you choose to be as person. 

And  for the others, you can only choose to accept them, or walk away."

How true, isn't it?

How many times we count on others to respect our feelings just because we are nice and we respect theirs too? How many times do we "expect" same treatments just because we have done things right for them? How many times have you shared in order to gain some empathy but instead you get mockery?

Nothing wrong with those people.
Nothing wrong with us too.
Because we really can't control how they should react to what we have done.
They are who they are.
We are who we are.
The only thing we have control of, is ourselves and like the quote - the decision to accept them or to walk away.

I have learned that, you can be really nice and show your genuine self to others. But after repeated times when such were not being appreciated, why do we still bother to be nice? What are we trying to prove? Is it really worth it?

Choose to walk away.
Choose to honor yourself.
Choose to accept better people in your life.

There are so many people who are more deserving of our awesomeness than those that we tried to force upon.

Life is too short.
Our breaths are limited.
Invest them for better returns.
If not, remember to cut your losses.

Where Are You Heading in Life?

I have no idea how I should start this post now. I know I have to write something but I simply don't know how to start. I don't even know what is the theme I should write about. I almost gave up.

But my fingers decide to give it a try. (Plus a few encouragements from new friends I met recently). To just let them have their own dances on the surface of this keyboard. So, here I am, typing aimlessly, still not knowing where this is heading. But I just know, I have to keep typing.

Isn't life like that too?

You, honestly don't know, after so much planning, where you will be going next.

I mean, as solid as your plans are .... as idiot and bulletproof they can be, if the world is going to end tomorrow. If your life is going to end tomorrow, then your "whatever" plans going to mean nothing at all. Right?

That doesn't mean one shouldn't plan. But one shouldn't spend majority of their breaths on future planning or even past scenarios. Because, every single breath you are inhaling and exhaling now is simply so precious. When you realize that, the universe will share with you its wonders. I have been one of such lucky soul to experience it.

As I take in as much present moments as I could, life has unfolded itself so wonderfully that by reminiscing about them I could really just tear. I met so many wonderful people from unexpected places recently. They came in all ages and sizes. The youngest sage I met recently is an 8-yo girl name Carrie who came into the room with her partially broken white board. I helped her to fix it and then I realized she wrote something so profound as you can see from the image.

For an 8yo, she knows how important personal space is. She bothered to write it down on a white board, hung it in front of the door and still said THANK YOU. How assertive and polite this little soul can be. Meanwhile some adults simply let others to trample all over their lives without letting others know that some knocking is needed to enter their space. Ironic, eh?

For those of you who are my Facebook friends, you would have known that I went to Beer Fest 2012 recently. My friends have gone back home first and I chose to stay ... I was all alone and surrounded by "strangers". I prefer to call them friends I have not yet known well. I was having the time of my life, really flowing with the moments and met these awesome grandpa and grandma who live their lives to the fullest. It was already 1AM and they were still drinking, dancing and entertaining my questions. I also met a bunch of ladies and one of them were kind enough to buy me one drink. I hope I will have the chance to repay the kindness too.

Life is an amazing journey if you bother to see its small wonders subtly camouflaging themselves as ordinary things that you tend to take for granted. Since it's a journey, keep exploring, discovering and moving forward. Learn as much as you can from the past but please don't be stuck there. Your breaths are limited and there are still so many amazing things to be discovered. You may have your problems, who don't, deal with them at your own pace but once in a while, take a break, take a deep breath and reset your mind to focus on something else besides your problems. Cut yourself some slack and go to your happy zone even if it's only for few minutes. When you are able to do that, slowly, it will be a habit. Slowly, the problems will not look like problems anymore. Slowly ... you will say - "Ah ... every moment is how it's supposed to be!". 

It's okay to not know what's next for you. It's okay not to know where you are heading to but don't stop living. Don't stop breathing. Don't stop doing. Don't stop asking questions. Don't stop! Sometimes, it's not that we don't know ... we just need to remember why we are here in the first place.