What Are You Allowing?

“Whatever you focus on expands.” – Christopher M. Knight

I believe somehow, somewhere, you must have heard about the quote before. It's one of the most common passing remarks. If you haven't heard it yet, that means you are not into self-help books or you haven't been surrounded by personal development junkies (like I used to be. Yes, I'm and "secretly" quite geeky that way).

In the self-help world, that quote is like a mantra. It's so common that people know it but they tend to take it for granted. Just like me. I know the phrase. I understand it. But so what? I don't really "apply" it. The realization comes so much later.

You see, the quote is simple it simply means whatever you focus on, will be bigger and more. For example, if you think you are ugly, you most probably will be and the more you look at yourself in the mirror in the future, the more you will feel ugly no matter what the whole world say. Because that's your focus. Your choice. It will expand.

The same thing applies on a more positive thought, such as,"I think I will meet nice people because I am nice." As naive as this sound, it works for me. I met nice uncles, aunties, contractors, students, strangers, etc. And it expanded by showing me even in other countries such as France, Belgium and Swiss, I found very nice people. I found them through the internet and voila ... I spent X'mas and New Year with them. Is it magic?

Hope you get the gist of this quote. If you don't believe, it's okay. It's your choice. It's not a theory that has to be proven right. I'm not here to do so too. But why I bring this up is because recently I notice something more interesting from this "theory" that allows me to modify the quote a little bit. My realization taught me the following:

"Whatever you allow to be focused on, expands."

Not much different, I know. And I am not trying to be funny to create a quote of my own. (Though a kind friend of mine on FB, Miss. I.S. did manifest that for me, but sorry, not yet :p). What I realize is from a conversation I had with my friend - or more like - a non-conversation. Let me know if I stray but this was my experience.

I was chatting with a friend and at one point I was ranting about a negative event that happened on that day. Normally, if someone did that to me, won't it be natural to ask,"what happened?" But this friend of mine, didn't. If there were cicadas, you should be able to hear them in the background. Mine was an imaginary cicadas serenading this gap in my non-conversational conversation.

"That was odd", I thought.
"Will I get a new question to deflect the awkwardness?"
"Should I ask the next question?"
"Should I demand for attention?"
"What should I do?"
"This feels weird."

Then my mind went silent.
Really silent for a few minutes.
A few minutes in my noisy mind felt like an eternity.

That's when I realize. Whether my friend did it on purpose or not, she taught me one of the most powerful lesson to be learned - whatever you allow to be focused on, will expand.

The words "whatever you focus on" never specify on the "who". It can be the speaker/the doer or the listener/the observer. Both sides have the power to choose on what to focus on next. By not allowing the negative conversation to progress further, the negative sentences will not breed into a full blown fairy tale. That realization, woke me up. I carry it with me all the time and pledge to be more aware of what I allow to be focused on.

So, what are you allowing now?

For now, I shall allow this cute cow - a photo I took when I was in Reims, France (28 December 2008) to penetrate my mind with a little bit of yummy silliness. *Slurping my cereal drink and smiling away*